SIRO One Za'abeel

Staff not friendly

Every things was perfect ♥️ thanks Marla for your help

Highly recommended

I genuinely thought I had booked a hotel. Turns out I booked a poorly managed social experiment in how many small annoyances it takes to break a guest in 24 hours. Let’s start with the basics. The lobby and reception? Naturally located on the 30th floor. Because nothing says “warm welcome” like forcing every guest to ride the world’s busiest elevator just to say hello. Speaking of elevators — there’s one. One single elevator serving the entire building, all residents, and the health club crowd. Hope you’re not in a hurry, or claustrophobic, or allergic to awkward small talk with sweaty strangers. Room service (if we can call it that) operates on island time. Need a toothbrush, comb, or coffee? Prepare for a casual 30-minute wait. The room itself greeted me with a charming aroma of stale sweat. Romantic. The temperature is locked at a crisp 21°C thanks to their sacred “sustainability” system. You cannot lower it. You cannot increase the airflow. You can only sit there, slowly marinating in your own regret while hugging yourself for warmth. Want to go to the pool? Excellent. Change elevators, walk to a completely different building, and enjoy your little urban expedition. Outside food or deliveries? Forbidden. This is apparently a maximum-security facility disguised as hospitality. Any package, food, groceries, or Red Bull must be surrendered at the main reception. From there they’ll “call you” or leave it with the concierge. Want your items? Congratulations — you now get to enjoy the full elevator experience again: room elevator down, lobby elevator down, security checkpoint pickup. Five-star service? More like five checkpoints. And then we reach the comedy gold. I ordered regular coffee. They brought decaf. I ordered Red Bull. They brought something else entirely. When I politely pointed out it was the third time they’d brought me decaf instead of normal coffee, the response was pure theater: “Okay, we’ll tell them not to bring you decaf anymore.” I waited 10 minutes. No coffee. I called again. “But sir, you said you don’t want decaf… so you do want decaf?” I’m not sure if they were trolling me or if the hotel hires from a parallel universe where logic is optional. The grand finale: I asked to speak to the manager. After waiting 15 minutes I went to check. The reply? “The manager is doing an orientation right now… he’ll finish soon.” I laughed. I actually laughed out loud in the lobby. It was the most honest thing they said all day. This entire circus happened in one single day. And unfortunately for me, I’m stuck here for two nights. If you enjoy passive-aggressive service, broken promises, and dark comedy at your own expense — this place is Michelin-starred in disappointment. Would not recommend. Would however recommend bringing your own coffee, patience, and a good book. You’re going to need all three.